Thursday, January 22, 2009


So, lately I'm squeezing in more ways than one.


My pants are tight (so tight I actually have to lie on my bed to button them...), my wedding ring is tight, my shirts show rolls again... sure fire signs that I've gained a bit of weight back.

I got my surgery over 2 years ago and since then, I've lost 115 lbs. At that point I was still 25 lbs away from where the drs told me I should be at. I was only 15 away from where I wanted to be at though.

Well... I got married 5 lbs over my lowest point. I blamed that to stress of planning the wedding. At Christmas (5 whole months of being married *yay*) I was only 5 lbs over that. That was a huge accomplishment for me, because they say once you get married you gain weight because you're all relaxed and enjoying life, so I wrote off that 5 lbs. My goal was to get through the holidays without gaining more weight than that. After Christmas and my hubby and I just stayed at home enjoying eachother, I gained. A lot. Like ten pounds in the month. TEN WHOLE POUNDS!!! IN A MONTH!!! Ugh. That's disgraceful. I wasnt watching what I ate, I ate all day long without thinking about it, I didn't exercise...

Needless to say, my trainer was kinda "disappointed" (aka pissed). She's been with me for 4 years now working with me and knows how I work... I was doing so well after Thanksgiving and all of that, and Christmas came and it was like Hiroshima. I've plumped up like the Christmas pig getting ready for the slaughter. Now I'm 3 lbs away from the number I swore against seeing for the rest of my life. The 200 number.

So I'm starting the new year over, starting it right. My goal is to get all the way down to my goal weight by my birthday. MY goal, not the drs. I still think the drs are insane for saying I can get down there. But that's 35 lbs in 5 months. That's like 6 lbs a month. If I just get back to doing things right, that'll be easy.

Well, SHOULD be easy.

Nick is supporting me behind it. He never wanted me to get the surgery in the first place. Well, if he knew me back then he says he wouldnt have let me get it. But now that I got it, he doesnt want to see me put it to waste. And I agree. I got it to teach myself a new life, and to be able to teach my kids so they can be healthy too. Break the cycle of big. Nick wants to lose weight too so he said he's willing to eat whatever I eat and to start cutting back. He's funny because he knows I'd do anything for him so he asked me to lose weight for him. Not because he wants me to be skinny, but because with him as a motivation he knows I would take it more seriously. So I started on him today when he wanted snacks, telling him dinner was in a half hour (I made the rest of the porkchops that I did yesterday... yum yum yum. BTW Erica, THANKS for your recipe!!! I found one that had everything you said plus a couple more spices in it like thyme and rosemary and basil and then parmesan cheese and it was kinda spicy but Nick liked it. And you saved me from going to the grocery store haha). He didnt like having to wait, and he ate his dinner PLUS mine (I didnt eat much) and he said he felt like a pig but was still hungry. We'll work on it. It's all portion size and drinking more. He's gonna start working out with me too.


Gonna start this by saying sorry this is so long... but if you're still reading, I LOVE YOU!!! Haha.

So Nick and I are moving, saving money there, just bought a car, saving money there, I'm taking the light rail to school, saving money there, I'm clipping coupons, saving money there.

And yet money is still very tight. It seems certain bills keep coming out of the woodwork. Credit cards that we've paid off come back and say "OH there's a finance charge for $70 for this month even though there's no balance due on it", or "your dr appt was back in April of last year, but insurance wont cover it so you're stuck with it now".

It would help if my "job" would work me more than one day a week (or two) for 5 hours. These $50 paychecks aren't helping us much. I've been applying to places trying to find a part time office job in the afternoons... just something with steady hours where I'm not coming home at midnight and I dont have to work on Sundays.

I wanted to get out of the "waitressing" (in quotes because I dont really do that right now... just a banquet server... the menu is already chosen) but that might be the best choice right now. I've sworn off fast food, but at this point, any job is a job. We just need additional income. I need to be able to make the school payments or I'll have to drop out of the semester.

...And we all know that cant happen...

So, that's what's new. We're getting skinny. In more ways than one.

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